Its a post on a railway journey . Yeah, you got that .Stand and clap for yourself dumb wit idiot . This is the first part of the same trilogy.
Friends are like an asshole. No matter how much you curse and much you spit about it and the end of the day or rather more importantly at the start of the day, you can not do without one. The story or experience helped me realise this fact. The asshole part was absolutely correct.
Having a night’s sleep , i expected my friends to wake me up. Of course they did not and hence i had to make up my way by hastening up my daily morning requirements and just when i realised that i do not have enough money for the travel . Now i need to borrow the same and thereby has to be enlightened that these idiots are also living in penury. Poor me . I was late .I got my ticket by some real good hardships and in no case wished to miss the train as it was very important for me to be on time.
FREEZE MOMENT #1: i just realised at that point that i have never in my life missed a train. I felt a slight pride in my chest and as soon as it was resulting in a bulge i noticed eyes of another of my stupid idiot friend whose sexual orientation was beyond trust and hence i deflated my pride and went back to the bigger picture.
Yeah now i wanted to get my train and for that i suggested auto. Auto rickshaws must be our favourite way of travel. Seriously these thee wheeled things have their own charm . The sound and the fact that they are superior to bus and inferior to taxi makes it more special to Indian middle class mentality where every one claims to be part of middle class. No body in India is rich and no one definitely poor . We are all middle class .So my friends vetoed the idea. Maybe the fact that i am going to enjoy the luxury at their money was not such a good idea for them. Thereby i was thrown into a ‘Magic’. A TATA product , Magic is a special vehicle to ferry people. The most special thing about public transport in Bhopal is that its very customer friendly . Trust me . They will stop it anywhere for the customers and wait till infinity for a customer. Then every now and then you will encounter a customer who has not those much feared words of a daily commuter “change”and there starts the blabber between concerned party for that one rupee. Trust me , i have full respects for every penny a guy earns esp. a rupee . At school when we had to toss for the game we would miss it that badly. So , in such a situation where you are minutes away from missing your train for the first time and in such case finding an old guy in tattered clothes and half brunt and probably borrowed bidi fiddling for his one rupee is not the most entertaining idea. I thought to offer that one rupee but then faces of my friends in contributing to my travel made me drop that fabulous idea. Something I am going to repent. Finally i reached Railway station
Indian Railway station is a funny place to be . You can find people of every strata and age. students in school and college uniforms . Those rich dogs with their airport trolley bag which has the “Kingfisher Airline” tag specially laminated to poor and cheerful village ladies in their shining pink and green sarees. The tall and short policeman and the military guy who will be sitting on his huge black box with his name written on it in white. The beggars ,the kids, handicaps and women with a child or the hawkers selling something. I always believe if anything can unite this country of infinite differences . It has to be railways.
The most viewed part of railway must be the time chart of course some people would carefully notice the underwear ads on the bill board but that on some other day. The train i was looking was giving me one more minute and a foot over bridge to reach . I ran with all my strength to reach it. Humping , pushing and squeezing myself in a crowd. I heard some censored noises at the background but i acted to neglect that and ran to my train . As soon as i was about to step down to my platform , i could see my train slowing on the track . Relaxed , its going to stop for 2 minutes for the least and i can go safe . I am a rockstar. I never missed a train. FUCK YEAHHH. Now coming to reality the train was not slowing down but has started . So me being relaxed i realised the truth a bit late . DDLJ flashback. I felt like kajole without a SRK at the end and ran again to get my train , my reserved seat. I want it now , I did a milkha singh act and put all my strength and trust me guys sitting at the trains were cheering for me but then someone called to me and asked me if could choose another train to die . I gave up. I saw my train , my first train to be missed moving away slowly praying that someone would pull the chain . I had always abused the chain pullers but now i prayed for one . Prayers never work.
The train went far away in its glory and i was standing tired and lost . It took some time to get what happened . I composed myself called the assholes and enquired about the next train . No direct train was there i would have to do a stopgap arrangement. No choice . I decided to cancel my ticket to get half the money back and get ticket for next train and there i met the guy for whom the post is dedicated.
Reservation centre is a peaceful place. Its not crowded and people act intelligent.So i got the general ticket for next train as that was all left for the journey and went to cancel the other one at the reservation centre . Now i was sweating like hell . My headmaster at school always used to tell us “pigs sweat , men perspire”. Fuck you headmaster , i felt like a pig. I saw few girls at the corner with guy ,giggling on some lame joke of the guy and there as an old lady with her grandchildren .Standing on not much long line i felt the my sweat was acting as a repellent and people are maintaining some distance . Cool with me. There was guy at the start must be in his forties and must be an agent . he was flirting with the woman who was booking the ticket and the time interval was making my blood boil just then an old man came and everyone backed off for him . Old guy quota.
Then just ahead of me was a muslim guy . How i know he is muslim ?. He was wearing the traditional muslim dress with the skull cap so it was easy. Suddenly he turned and asked my name. here is the conversation
he :your name
me : Nitin
he :Student ??
Me:(Ex-student , i wanted to say. Funny what do we should be adressed when i am graduate and waiting for my joining letter ) Yes.
He: i am a business man.
Me :(as if i care) Hmm.
he:i sell medicines for shirts
me :shirts ???
he :(this time more secured whisper) Sex…sex medicines
FREEZE MOMENT#2 : there are many awkward moments in your life . say your father wanted to make you an CA but you end up scared of numbers or the girl ypu liked likes the your friend who already likes her and you end up as an looser but this was different. I was pissed off , very angry at missing the train , hungry , tired , sweating and poor and this guy is telling me that that he sells sex enhancement stuff. so what am i suppose to do with it .I had no answers.
He :Sex…sex medicines
me :yeah i heard that at the first place.
he :I go to Mumbai for the stuff
me :Big city , no ?
he: very big
here the guy who was flirting was taking more longer and i wanted this conversation to end very fast but it looked to go otherwise.
he: what do you do?
me: computers
he : my brother too.
me : hm
trying to look least interested as possible,
he : where are you going?
me: nagpur.
he: ohh..you look disturbed.
he thinks me as a customer ????.that thought was getting into a possibility.
me: no
he : is it because of my profession?
me : no no way ( i was very embarrassed at this point )
he : it is .
me : yes .its little odd for me.
he : because you are all fools and hypocrites (now that was a direct offense )
me: huh ?
he : i am merchant of joy . I help people . I am just like a doctor . A doctor saves a live and i make that life pleasurable . i am not ashamed of my job. ( The bloody flirt was not finished with the lady )
me: i never said anything…(stopped me )
he: yeah , but you thought me like a pimp selling you some stuff. i do not need that . I travel AC two tier.
me : ohh (i hid my general ticket). must be a good business.
he: it is and and all allahs rehmat
me: (lime moved now) Yes of course.
he : hmm
me : you are doing a good job. i never meant anything wrong.
he : hahaha..i know that…want some stuff ?
me : what??
he : for free…good experience guaranteed.
me: no , i do not.
he : hahahah…do not worry , i was joking. i am going to give an order.
me : you are a dog
he: i am merchant of pleasure.
me : hehe..yes you are.
And his chance came . He got his AC Two tier ticket > before leaving he asked , you want my card and left before getting my reply. I would have said no. Idiots. I got the cancellation refund and a lesson. The pride in job is important for happiness.
merchant of pleasure is gone and so is this post. Take care.
Friends are like an asshole. No matter how much you curse and much you spit about it and the end of the day or rather more importantly at the start of the day, you can not do without one. The story or experience helped me realise this fact. The asshole part was absolutely correct.
Having a night’s sleep , i expected my friends to wake me up. Of course they did not and hence i had to make up my way by hastening up my daily morning requirements and just when i realised that i do not have enough money for the travel . Now i need to borrow the same and thereby has to be enlightened that these idiots are also living in penury. Poor me . I was late .I got my ticket by some real good hardships and in no case wished to miss the train as it was very important for me to be on time.
FREEZE MOMENT #1: i just realised at that point that i have never in my life missed a train. I felt a slight pride in my chest and as soon as it was resulting in a bulge i noticed eyes of another of my stupid idiot friend whose sexual orientation was beyond trust and hence i deflated my pride and went back to the bigger picture.
Yeah now i wanted to get my train and for that i suggested auto. Auto rickshaws must be our favourite way of travel. Seriously these thee wheeled things have their own charm . The sound and the fact that they are superior to bus and inferior to taxi makes it more special to Indian middle class mentality where every one claims to be part of middle class. No body in India is rich and no one definitely poor . We are all middle class .So my friends vetoed the idea. Maybe the fact that i am going to enjoy the luxury at their money was not such a good idea for them. Thereby i was thrown into a ‘Magic’. A TATA product , Magic is a special vehicle to ferry people. The most special thing about public transport in Bhopal is that its very customer friendly . Trust me . They will stop it anywhere for the customers and wait till infinity for a customer. Then every now and then you will encounter a customer who has not those much feared words of a daily commuter “change”and there starts the blabber between concerned party for that one rupee. Trust me , i have full respects for every penny a guy earns esp. a rupee . At school when we had to toss for the game we would miss it that badly. So , in such a situation where you are minutes away from missing your train for the first time and in such case finding an old guy in tattered clothes and half brunt and probably borrowed bidi fiddling for his one rupee is not the most entertaining idea. I thought to offer that one rupee but then faces of my friends in contributing to my travel made me drop that fabulous idea. Something I am going to repent. Finally i reached Railway station
Indian Railway station is a funny place to be . You can find people of every strata and age. students in school and college uniforms . Those rich dogs with their airport trolley bag which has the “Kingfisher Airline” tag specially laminated to poor and cheerful village ladies in their shining pink and green sarees. The tall and short policeman and the military guy who will be sitting on his huge black box with his name written on it in white. The beggars ,the kids, handicaps and women with a child or the hawkers selling something. I always believe if anything can unite this country of infinite differences . It has to be railways.
The most viewed part of railway must be the time chart of course some people would carefully notice the underwear ads on the bill board but that on some other day. The train i was looking was giving me one more minute and a foot over bridge to reach . I ran with all my strength to reach it. Humping , pushing and squeezing myself in a crowd. I heard some censored noises at the background but i acted to neglect that and ran to my train . As soon as i was about to step down to my platform , i could see my train slowing on the track . Relaxed , its going to stop for 2 minutes for the least and i can go safe . I am a rockstar. I never missed a train. FUCK YEAHHH. Now coming to reality the train was not slowing down but has started . So me being relaxed i realised the truth a bit late . DDLJ flashback. I felt like kajole without a SRK at the end and ran again to get my train , my reserved seat. I want it now , I did a milkha singh act and put all my strength and trust me guys sitting at the trains were cheering for me but then someone called to me and asked me if could choose another train to die . I gave up. I saw my train , my first train to be missed moving away slowly praying that someone would pull the chain . I had always abused the chain pullers but now i prayed for one . Prayers never work.
The train went far away in its glory and i was standing tired and lost . It took some time to get what happened . I composed myself called the assholes and enquired about the next train . No direct train was there i would have to do a stopgap arrangement. No choice . I decided to cancel my ticket to get half the money back and get ticket for next train and there i met the guy for whom the post is dedicated.
Reservation centre is a peaceful place. Its not crowded and people act intelligent.So i got the general ticket for next train as that was all left for the journey and went to cancel the other one at the reservation centre . Now i was sweating like hell . My headmaster at school always used to tell us “pigs sweat , men perspire”. Fuck you headmaster , i felt like a pig. I saw few girls at the corner with guy ,giggling on some lame joke of the guy and there as an old lady with her grandchildren .Standing on not much long line i felt the my sweat was acting as a repellent and people are maintaining some distance . Cool with me. There was guy at the start must be in his forties and must be an agent . he was flirting with the woman who was booking the ticket and the time interval was making my blood boil just then an old man came and everyone backed off for him . Old guy quota.
Then just ahead of me was a muslim guy . How i know he is muslim ?. He was wearing the traditional muslim dress with the skull cap so it was easy. Suddenly he turned and asked my name. here is the conversation
he :your name
me : Nitin
he :Student ??
Me:(Ex-student , i wanted to say. Funny what do we should be adressed when i am graduate and waiting for my joining letter ) Yes.
He: i am a business man.
Me :(as if i care) Hmm.
he:i sell medicines for shirts
me :shirts ???
he :(this time more secured whisper) Sex…sex medicines
FREEZE MOMENT#2 : there are many awkward moments in your life . say your father wanted to make you an CA but you end up scared of numbers or the girl ypu liked likes the your friend who already likes her and you end up as an looser but this was different. I was pissed off , very angry at missing the train , hungry , tired , sweating and poor and this guy is telling me that that he sells sex enhancement stuff. so what am i suppose to do with it .I had no answers.
He :Sex…sex medicines
me :yeah i heard that at the first place.
he :I go to Mumbai for the stuff
me :Big city , no ?
he: very big
here the guy who was flirting was taking more longer and i wanted this conversation to end very fast but it looked to go otherwise.
he: what do you do?
me: computers
he : my brother too.
me : hm
trying to look least interested as possible,
he : where are you going?
me: nagpur.
he: ohh..you look disturbed.
he thinks me as a customer ????.that thought was getting into a possibility.
me: no
he : is it because of my profession?
me : no no way ( i was very embarrassed at this point )
he : it is .
me : yes .its little odd for me.
he : because you are all fools and hypocrites (now that was a direct offense )
me: huh ?
he : i am merchant of joy . I help people . I am just like a doctor . A doctor saves a live and i make that life pleasurable . i am not ashamed of my job. ( The bloody flirt was not finished with the lady )
me: i never said anything…(stopped me )
he: yeah , but you thought me like a pimp selling you some stuff. i do not need that . I travel AC two tier.
me : ohh (i hid my general ticket). must be a good business.
he: it is and and all allahs rehmat
me: (lime moved now) Yes of course.
he : hmm
me : you are doing a good job. i never meant anything wrong.
he : hahaha..i know that…want some stuff ?
me : what??
he : for free…good experience guaranteed.
me: no , i do not.
he : hahahah…do not worry , i was joking. i am going to give an order.
me : you are a dog
he: i am merchant of pleasure.
me : hehe..yes you are.
And his chance came . He got his AC Two tier ticket > before leaving he asked , you want my card and left before getting my reply. I would have said no. Idiots. I got the cancellation refund and a lesson. The pride in job is important for happiness.
merchant of pleasure is gone and so is this post. Take care.
